


Meant To Be

by LadyJaneGrey92



Category: Middlemarch - George Eliot
Genre: Canon Continuation, F/M, Juliet Aubrey, Romantic Soulmates, Rufus Sewell - Freeform, Sex, Sweet/Hot, True Love, Wedding Night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-12-07 07:50:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18232022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyJaneGrey92/pseuds/LadyJaneGrey92
Summary: This story is a (mostly) canon continuation of the end of Middlemarch, with some artistic license applied.  We are told that Dorothea marries Will Ladislaw, and the pair have children and go on to be very happy together.  But sometimes a sweet kiss at the end of the movie just isn't enough.  This short indulgence is an extenuation of that scene, and of their wedding night.  This fiction is made with the 1994 TV series adaption of Middlemarch in mind, starring Juliet Aubrey as Dorothea and Rufus Sewell as Will Ladislaw.  All other characters mentioned are also envisioned to be the same as those cast in this film adaption of the novel.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A short summary, to put the reader into the proper moment: 
> 
> Middlemarch (the TV series) ends when Dorothea realizes she is in love with Will Ladislaw, and believes him to be cheating with Mrs. Lydgate because she walked in on them cuddled on the couch in the Lydgate's home. Mrs. Lydgate later explains to Dorothea that Will Ladislaw is completely in love with her, and what Dorothea thought she saw was not true at all. Mrs. Lydgate then goes on to write a letter to Ladislaw to explain to him what she has done. We then see Ladislaw marching determinedly toward Dorothea as she prunes some flowers. She stands and turns, and wordlessly he reaches out and kisses her so sweetly and beautifully.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Ladislaw proposes at long last to Dorothea and she accepts him. But how will her family respond to the news? And will they be an obstacle to the happiness she now feels within her grasp?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That kiss in the film is where this narration begins. The conversation that follows it is an imagined one that would have taken place just after their kiss ended.

Chapter 1

His first kiss upon her lips had been both strange and strangely familiar, as if he had kissed her this way a thousand times before. Both hesitant and bold, it had been to Dorothea as the coming of a great cataclysm. Shaking the ground beneath her feet, sweeping away the remnants of an old life. Questions. Doubts. Fears. Indecision. All fell away, as the voices that had haunted her steps were, as one, silenced the moment his lips brushed her own, and his fingertips softly traced the line of her cheek.

His other hand joined the first, and the combination of his warm caresses against her face, and his gentle lips threatened to knock the earth from beneath her feet.

How long had she loved him? She hardly knew when it had begun. Had it its roots in an unholy passion, stirred into living during the time of her marriage to Edward, or had it begun later?

He kissed her a second time, and all hesitation was now gone. His kiss tasted of passion, of longing and of a satisfaction at being finally thus expressed and accepted.

At last, she thought, at last here it is. She no longer dared contemplate how long she had wanted this moment, and contented herself merely to exist in it. To bask in the soft gentleness of his touch, the warm misting of their mingled breaths, to return again to those great green eyes, and to lose herself in their shimmering depths.

He smiled a little hesitantly, but a smile that reached his eyes in a way that betrayed a genuine pleasure she had rarely before seen in him.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” he owned, his fingers still on her face, on her throat, his eyes taking her in with such love that she wondered how she could have missed it in him before.

Her eyes were fixed on his mouth. Her own was still tingling from his attentions. She found herself stirred by an unfamiliar, almost frightening feeling. She wanted…oh how she wanted…more. So much more. Things she had no words for, but the wanting of it made her breathless. Robbed her of thought. Narrowed her focus to one single point.

He watched her for a long, protracted moment, saw the focus of her gaze. His own missed nothing where she was concerned, and his brows furrowed briefly as understanding dawned.

“Oh good God,” he whispered, eyes widened as he regarded her. “Do you mean to tell me he never…”

“Shh,” she said, tears in her eyes as she placed a finger against his lips. “Please…do not…”

His jaw worked, and she saw the anger flash in his eyes. “Dorothea, I must know. You must tell me.”

“Why must I? Why must we sully this moment with such things?”

“It is unforgivable. It is unforgivable! That he would…deny you even that?”

“Do not…speak ill of Edward, I beg of you! He did what he believed to be right, I am sure he did!”

“He was not a husband to you! Not in any way! And yet he condemned you to this existence that was little more than a prison! How can that be right?”

“I lacked for nothing!”

“Only out of ignorance!” He took a deep breath and tried to steady himself. “Forgive me. I mean only ignorance in the way of…lacking experience…”

Dorothea had turned away, her face aflame. To speak of such things! And with him! It was…shocking. Disturbing. Unsettling. It felt like the grossest betrayal of her marriage conceivable. She wanted to run away. She wanted to run toward him and beg him to kiss her again. She wanted to know more. She felt sinful…wicked…to stay and hear him. And yet oh, how she wanted to stay.

“No,” he said in a strangled tone, “Do not…do not turn away from me. Not now! For God’s sake…”

His hands landed on her shoulders. Large, heavy. So warm. So comfortable.

So right.

Her eyes closed. She should bid him leave. She should bid him release her. But she could not bear to.

“I love you,” he whispered. “Dorothea, do you hear me? I love you. May God in His heaven forgive me, but I have done so since the first time I ever met you. I have languished these long years…in a prison parallel to your own. Watching…powerless to offer you the merest assistance. The most trivial comfort! Stealing whatever opportunities as could be managed to see you to…indulge in your presence. For without such visits to sustain me I do not believe that now I would still draw breath. My heart…has ever been…yours. There is no other woman upon this earth capable of even drawing my notice. I have from the earliest time of our acquaintance been wholly enraptured by you. By your goodness, your keen intellect…your beauty…yes. I have envied my cousin his marvelous good fortune at securing your hand. Your heart. How he did it, I know not but I have envied him. I repent of it freely now and own it for what it was. But I swear to you I would never have acted upon it. Only to…see you. To have such small exchanges as we have had throughout our acquaintance. I hope…that this does not offend you in any way.”

“No,” she shook her head and met his eyes. “No, it does not offend me. Poor Edward. He must have known. He must have seen what I could not. And he did not believe I did not share your feelings. Yes. That must have been the source of his unease. I never knew what I had done to offend him so. He must have thought we were lovers.”

“And that is why he wrote that abhorrent will!”

“Please…you must not…”

“Must not what? Blame him? For cheating you so abominably out of everything, including his own affections?”

“Please…” she shook her head. “Please do not…I cannot bear it.”

Instantly he was at her side, taking her into his arms lightly, hesitant at first for the newness of it. Dorothea lay her head against his shoulder and gave way to tears. He stroked her hair, leaning his head against her cheek.

“I am sorry. Forgive me my choler. My feelings are such…”

“It is understandable. He has misjudged you and feared you and again, you are so unjustly treated.”

“Unjustly? Dorothea…I care not for justice for myself. But for you…you have been dealt the greater injustice. That is far the greater crime. He seeks to imprison you still.”

“I care not. I care not for estates and money and comfort!” she spoke against his shoulder. “I have never been able to abide it when there is such poverty in the world. So much want. And I have so much.”

“Then marry me. Marry me, and be damned to his will and his estates. And I swear to you upon anything you wish to have me swear upon, that you will never live to regret it. That I will never leave you so cold and alone as you have been. I will be a husband to you in every sense. Marriage should not be a prison. Not for either party. Marry me and you will be more fulfilled, more happy than you can possibly imagine. I will make it up to you—the loss of all of this. I will make it all up to you, I swear I shall.”

She released him, and his hands went to her face again. His beautiful green eyes full of the utmost tenderness and conviction she had ever seen. He bent and touched his face to hers and kissed her again. Harder this time.

Dorothea’s breath caught in her throat as his lips pressed firm against her own, tugging and caressing, soft and warm. Insistent and yet patient. She sighed against him, feeling her body relax in his arms, and the rightness of his touch, his arms, his kiss sank deep into her heart and took root there.

“Say you will marry me,” he whispered, his words caressing her cheek. “Make me the happiest man who ever lived.”

“Yes,” she said. “Oh yes I will!”

He kissed her hard then, and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back into the warmth of his embrace.

* * *

“Ladislaw? Young Will Ladislaw?” Her uncle Arthur blinked at her.

“Yes Uncle,” she laughed. “Is it so hard to believe after all?”

“But…my dear…the stipulations of your late husband’s will are very clear. Very clear, you know. He said—and I know this may sound harsh, and I do believe it is so myself, you know, but it is the way of things—he said if you were to marry Will Ladislaw, you would give up the entirety of his estates. Lock, stock, and barrel, you know! You will be penniless! And Ladislaw may be a capital fellow and a very decent one, you know, to say nothing of being handsome I am sure to a young woman, but he has no estate of his own, poor fellow. No estate at all! Therefore I must urge you most strongly, most strongly indeed you know, to…to reconsider this course of action.”

“But uncle, I care nothing for Edward’s estate! For what good does it do me if I cannot use it to benefit anyone in any case? Will Ladislaw is as you say, a very clever man. He means to go for a seat in Parliament, and from there can carry on your work of reform! We shall reside in town. And perhaps there, I shall be of some use to someone. Whereas here, I fear I never shall be. In any case, I shall be of great use to him. Or so he tells me.”

“I see. Yes, I see. Well. But what will you live on, my dear? Your dowry you know, was paid to Casaubon, all of it.”

“I need nothing! I am perfectly content with whatever status we may find ourselves in together.”

“Well. I suppose if you are so very determined to do this thing, then it must be done. I have always liked Ladislaw, you know. Capital fellow. Very good with words, he is, very good indeed. A great turn of phrase! Very talented indeed. Yes…well, I have no doubt he shall do great things in Parliament, you know, great things! Reform is the way to go, after all, we must have reform! You-you know how I have always felt about reform, my dear. Yes. And you know, there is no greater fellow to carry on with the business of reform than Ladislaw! Still, it’s a shame you know, a very great shame, that you can’t stay here in Middlemarch.”

“I shall miss you Uncle. And Kitty of course.” She kissed him on both his cheeks.

* * *

“If you’re going to do this, Dodo, than I insist you take these."

“Oh…Kitty no,” Dorothea observed as her sister entered the room bearing a small chest. “I said before that I have no use for Ma-ma’s jewels. They are much better with you. And I shall have very little occasion to wear such things in any case.”

“No, you don’t understand at all!” Kitty huffed, setting the chest down on the table with a thump. “They are not to wear, Dodo, not now. They are to sell!”

“Sell? Whatever for?”

“Why, to live on, of course! You shall have no money, as I keep reminding you! And Mr. Ladislaw has no estate whatsoever! How on earth do you expect to buy bread, and bonnets, or even a wretched little hovel to live in without so much as your dowry! No. You must have them. They will fetch a good price and then I shall have the satisfaction of knowing you are not sleeping in a hedgerow!”

“Oh, Kitty, you do exaggerate! Mr. Ladislaw has rooms in London already. They will do perfectly well for us both. I have no need of luxury. You keep them.”

“But I don’t need them! James buys me whatever jewels I wish! Oh, Dodo, why can’t you marry someone like James? I do not understand why you should always wish to be so contrary.”

“Because I love Mr. Ladislaw, and I do not care if he is not like James.”

Kitty sighed. “Well. At least Mr. Ladislaw seems to care a great deal for you. Does he love you, Dodo? Not like that horrid Casaubon, but really…really love you?”

“He does, Kitty,” Dorothea took her sister’s hand and squeezed it. “You and James have misjudged him completely. But I feel sure that in time, James will see that. Mr. Ladislaw has had a lifetime of being misjudged and treated appallingly. That I could bring him happiness…makes me very happy indeed. For he deserves to be, so more than any other soul I know.”

Kitty sighed, her face softening. “Well. If you say so, than I shall believe you. And you are sure? Really quite sure about this?”

“I am…more sure about Will Ladislaw than I have ever been about anything else in my life.”

Kitty reached across and hugged her sister tightly.

“I shall endeavor to think well of him in that case,” she said finally, in tears. “If you do not mind him so very much.”

“I do not. I believe we shall be truly happy.”

“Well I shall keep these for you, just in case. If you need any money or anything, write me and I shall send them to you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was another conversation in the garden in the movie between Dorothea and Kitty, where Dorothea explains to Kitty that she is marrying Ladislaw and moving away. Kitty complains that she wishes Dorothea would marry someone like her own husband with an estate nearby so they could always be close. Dorothea explains that she is welcome anytime to visit them in their new home. This conversation is alluded to here a little bit but not repeated. This conversation between the sisters again is imagined to have taken place somewhere 'off camera'.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorothea and Will Ladislaw marry. But the wedding night fills her with anticipation and dread. Will she be able to overcome her own misgivings and submit to her new husband?

Chapter 2

Will Ladislaw and Dorothea Brooke Casaubon were married in the church at Middlemarch a fortnight later, by the Reverend Farebrother, in a small ceremony made up of friends and neighbors. The wedding feast was held at Tipton, and was attended by everyone who mattered to them. Mr. Brooke, Kitty and Sir James, Dr. and Mrs. Lydgate, the Cadwalladers, Rev. Farebrother, Caleb Garth and his family, and Fred Vincy. Even by the end of the evening, Dorothea was pleased to note that Sir James had personally come by and shaken her new husband’s hand.

“It seems I may have been wrong about you,” Sir James said stiffly. “If that is true, I should like to issue you my most heartfelt apologies, Sir. And to offer my felicitations. I truly wish you all the best. You have won yourself the heart of an excellent woman there, as I am sure you know. I trust you shall always remember that. And remember she has many friends.”

“I can assure you most readily, I’m not like to ever forget it, Sir. Nor to ever give her friends cause to feel they need to ride to her rescue.”

Sir James had nodded gravely.

“Congratulations,” Dr. Lydgate had offered them both with a smiling Rosamund on his arm. He kissed Dorothea on both cheeks and shook Ladislaw’s hand heartily.

“Congratulations to you both,” Mrs. Lydgate had said, kissing Dorothea’s cheeks and pressing her hands quite a long time. “I am glad…that is, I am happy for you both.”

“I cannot thank you enough, Mrs. Lydgate,” Dorothea said. “Had it not been for you--”

“--Think nothing of it,” she said with tears glistening in her eyes. “Isn’t it wonderful, Tertius? Our two friends are happy now at last.” She cast her eyes briefly at Ladislaw, who returned her smile, and then followed her husband’s lead towards Farebrother, the Garths, and her brother Fred.

* * *

When it was time for them to retire they did so to a chorus of cheers and well-wishes, and made their way to a chamber upstairs overlooking the back garden. It was not Dorothea’s old chamber, for that would have felt quite improper. So it was to a guest room that was seldom used that they made their way to now.

Her new husband followed her into the room, and turned to close the French doors quietly. Dorothea’s heart was beating so fast she could scarcely draw breath. She had dreamed of this night. This moment. Longed for it. And yet now…she felt quite as though she did not know what to do.

She wandered over to the balcony doors and opened them, careful to observe that the garden below was quite empty of people before stepping out and placing her hands upon the railing.

Her marriage to Edward had, as Will had guessed, never been consummated. Though she had shared his bed she had been the recipient of none of those affections that were typical and expected of a married couple. They had exchanged brief pecks upon the cheek, and Dorothea was sometimes wont to straighten his tie or help him on or off with his jacket, but he would never permit her to touch him further, beyond occasional embraces of an almost friendly nature.

This husband though, she knew, had every intention of consummating their union. It was a prospect that both excited and terrified her. And so she found herself out here on the balcony gazing at the stars, willing herself to relax, reminding herself there was nothing to fear—that she loved Will Ladislaw, more so than she could have ever expected, or ever even perhaps had loved her first husband, though it pained her heart to own it. That he loved her, she was fully aware, and would therefore be kind and gentle with her as he ever was in all things regarding her, for as long as she had known him.

No, there was nothing to fear. This was, after all, an integral part of marriage. Other women had full relations with their husbands, else there would be no children in the world. And it was, after all, within the bounds of marriage God ordained, as well. No, everything had been done properly and rightly, both in the eyes of the law and in the eyes of God. And before their friends and neighbors. All barriers had been removed between them.

And yet, Dorothea’s heart beat furiously, and she gripped the balcony rail to stop her hands from shaking.

His soft step behind her made her turn, and one look into his hesitant, smiling eyes did much to calm her.

Trust. She trusted Will Ladislaw. With her heart, and with her life. Enough to pledge herself to him. Enough to give up a home, and living among her family comfortably as she had done all her life, and follow him into the unknown. Was it therefore such a much larger leap of faith to trust him with her body as well? There was nothing to fear here, she told herself firmly, as she gazed into his luminous green eyes.

“It is a beautiful night,” she offered, “Is it not?”

“The most beautiful night of my life.”

Her courage failed her at the tone of his answer, and she smiled hesitantly and turned back to the view. Why was she so afraid? Why did the thought of this…terrify her so much? Was it simply because it was a new, unknown way of being?

The intimacy between a man and a woman…a husband and a wife was a beautiful thing. She was sure it must be. She had longed for it with Edward. But if she had even gently tried to kiss him he had turned away from her. Perhaps it was this experience that had sent the part of her that hungered most for intimacy deep within herself, as if it was something shameful, and unwanted by the man in question.

Would it have been different—easier—if she and Edward had been intimate? Would it have been perhaps more difficult? She would never know the answer.

His hands landed lightly on her shoulders, and she hissed in a breath.

“Dorothea,” he whispered, and her eyes closed to hear her name on his lips. “I don’t want you to be afraid of me.”

“I know. I’m not I…” she sighed. “I don’t know what I am.”

“You know we…don’t have to…I mean…if you require more time…”

Dorothea shook her head. “No. I don’t want more time. It’s so strange. This is my second wedding night, and yet, it is my first.”

“I swear to you, I will not do anything you do not wish me to do. I wish only to please you.” His voice was soft—so soft—in her ear. Like a caress of its own. She had always loved his voice. Her eyes closed with the pleasure of the sound of it so close.

“I know,” she replied.

“Command me, My Love,” he said. “Command me as you will. I am yours…forever more. Happily…eagerly…yours…”

She turned in her new husband’s arms. “I want…oh I want…” she could not voice it, but he saw it in her eyes.

As he had that first afternoon, his lips found hers softly, fingers brushing her cheek. She sighed into his kiss, and his hands pressed more strongly against her cheeks, supporting her as his kiss grew more determined.

He groaned against her, a sound of such deep pleasure that her breath caught in her throat. Did she make him feel thus? It sent shock waves through her body. Such a beautiful sound…such a heady feeling! She leaned into him, craving more.

“Dorothea,” he breathed, “Oh my beautiful Dorothea…am I dreaming? Or are you really mine?”

“I am,” she whispered, smiling. “I am wholly yours. Will…” she tried out his name on her lips. It was delicious. “Show me…how to please you. I want so much to please you…as a wife.”

He groaned and kissed her again. This time, Dorothea felt something in his kiss that she had longed to feel for the whole of her life.

Passion.

Oh could this be it? That elusive feeling she had instinctively sought but never found?

Yes, it must be passion! Passion, and an urgency in his lips, in his kiss that set her own blood racing. His arms circled her and drew her in close, pressed her body against his. She gasped against him. No man had ever held her thus, clasped her to him so tightly as if determined to draw her into himself. His body was so hard and so strong. She felt weak against him.

He released her and grasping her hands, drew her back through the balcony doors into their room. Dorothea felt herself under a spell. She was no longer afraid. She could see nothing but her new husband’s brilliant green eyes—eyes that she had loved a long time--could feel nothing but the touch of his body anywhere on hers. She felt suddenly as if she did not exist outside of these points.

“You are sure?” He whispered. “Even now, if you will it, I will stop.”

“I am sure,” she said into his eyes, and felt the truth of every word. “I wish to know everything there is between a husband and a wife. I wish to know…intimacy. Love. You,” she said, touching his cheek with her hand. “Show me everything. Tonight. For I am afraid if you do not show me now, it may be lost to us forever.”

“I would never let that happen, I swear to you.”

“I know you should not. But I may lose all courage for this tomorrow. And I do not wish to disappoint or displease you. I am afraid, but I am more afraid of not ever being intimate with you than I am of learning the true nature of real marital intimacy. Please…show me. Teach me what it is to be a wife. Teach me what you wish me to know in order to please you. For I do love you, Will. I want more than anything to be a good wife for you.”

“You shame me,” he said suddenly, his eyes welling up with tears. “You shame me, for I wish…I wish we were discovering this together.”

She nodded, accepting this information. “It is of no matter now. I am here. We must still learn to be married…together.” She stepped closer to him, raising tentative hands to place on his cheeks. At this he came undone, kissing her palms, first one and then the other. “You are my angel,” he breathed. “You must be. For how could you be real?”

“And you, my darling husband. How is it you are real?”

His lips found hers again and he pulled her close. His hands trembled, she noticed, and then she understood why as they landed on her back…began unfastening the buttons of her bodice.

“Anytime you want me to stop, tell me,” he whispered again.

Dorothea held her breath as one by one, the long row of buttons gave way. His lips traveled over her cheek, to her ear, whispering to her such words of love as to melt her where she stood. And then down her throat as she felt the bodice give way. His hands landed trembling on her shoulders again and he gazed into her eyes for confirmation as he slowly slid the gown over her shoulders and down off of her body.

Her dress fell about her ankles in a puddle of white silk, and she was standing before him in her undergarments.

His eyes were on her body. Huge. His breathing seemed more shallow.

Dorothea hovered somewhere between hope and shame. When at last he raised his eyes to hers again, his lips found hers softly and sweetly as he whispered to her words of love and affirmation, and guided her hands to his own body, showed her how to untie his cravat. Held her hands and her eyes as she unfastened the buttons of his waistcoat and shucked it over his shoulders. He was standing before her in his shirt and breeches only, and he guided her hand to the ties of his shirt.

“Maybe it would make you feel better if I were to go first?” He whispered. “Then it will be more comfortable for you.” He kissed her, and moved her hands for her, allowing her to explore, to become comfortable with him again at every new stage.

When they had removed his shirt, Dorothea stood in awe, running her hands over the taut muscles of his chest, feeling his skin beneath her hand.

“You are so beautiful,” she breathed.

He chuckled. “I thank you Lady.”

She took his hands then, and guided them to her own body. They removed her underskirts. Bustle. And finally her corset, until she was standing before him in only her shift and stockings. He pulled her to him again and kissed her heartily, his arms wrapping tightly around her, and Dorothea began to understand what she had set out to discover. He helped her remove his breeches and her breath caught. She stepped away from him and removed her shift. Except for her stockings, she was naked as he was.

If she had thought his upper body magnificent, she was totally unprepared for the glory that was the rest of him.

“Do I frighten you?” He whispered, touching her cheek and smiling shyly into her eyes.

“No. Do I frighten you?”

He laughed. “No. You are the most beautiful sight I have ever seen.” He kissed her again, this time, opening his lips as they glided across hers. She started briefly, but fell into a trance of sorts as he bade her mouth open against his. He pulled her close to him again, and she nearly drowned in the heady sensation of his hard, warm, masculine frame touching hers, skin to skin, all the way down. His hands drifted into her hair and deftly removed it’s complicated web of pins, letting it fall in one dark curtain, the white blooms that had adorned it falling about her shoulders like rain. Her new husband buried his hands in her hair, spreading it around her face, her shoulders as he kissed her.

Dorothea had never before felt such…peace. Such pleasure as his mouth moved over hers. Opened against her own. His tongue darting forward, tasting her! She could never have imagined such behavior…such pleasure before. Was this what it was truly like to be married? This bliss? This…incredible intimacy?

She had never even before seen a man’s nude form. Her first husband had never disrobed so openly before her. But Will Ladislaw was the most glorious sight she could ever have imagined. Her hands landed lightly on his shoulders, shyly caressing his warm, smooth skin. He broke the kiss and gazed deeply into her eyes, smiling ever so slightly in encouragement, capturing first one, and then the other of her hands and bringing her fingers to his lips before very deliberately placing them back against his body, his eyes burning into hers, asking her, begging even, for her touch upon his frame.

“Touch me…” he whispered. “Anywhere you wish. I hunger for your touch, my lady. Touch my body, the way you have long since touched my soul.”

She leaned in, asking with her eyes if it would not be too much trouble for him to kiss her again. He happily obliged, kissing her slowly and deeply, patiently as she accustomed herself to him, his own fingertips trailing lightly down her shoulders, over her back, down to her hips and below. She gasped.

“Do you wish me to stop?”

“No. Please Will. Never stop. I want it all. I want all of you—all of this—that it is possible to have.”

With a cry he kissed her again, his hands trembling against her body with restraint or fear she could not tell. But soon he led her over to their bridal bed, his eyes locked with hers as first he sat and then she did. He bid her lie down and they lay together, side by side, facing each other, one hand propped behind their ears.

His eyes caressed her, his hand sliding softly up and down her arm, her leg.

“Come here,” he said at last, and pulled her closer. “Explore me,” he whispered, “Touch me anywhere you like. My body is yours now. Only ever yours. Your playground.”

He smiled as she laughed a little. “I confess I do not know where to begin. You are magnificently handsome. I am overwhelmed.”

He smiled wider. “As am I.” He took her hand and placed it over his heart.

They both laughed together.

“I confess you have married a very wicked man. For I have dreamed of you thus before now. But my dreams were woefully inadequate to your beauty.”

“You dreamed of this?”

“I did.” His face turned a delightful shade of pink. “Oh yes I did.”

“I am glad I think, that I did not realize that sooner. It would have made it impossible for me to ever look you in the eye.”

“The shame is mine, not yours.”

Dorothea moved her hand against his chest experimentally. His chest was crowned with a dusting of soft, springy hairs. They tickled her palm pleasantly.

He smiled at her, holding her eyes as she began to explore. She trailed her fingers across his body to find his male breast. With heat in her face, she ran her fingers experimentally over the bud of his nipple. He sighed.

“Does that feel good?”

“Yes, my darling, very good,” his eyes lowered to her breasts. Slowly, he reached out a hand, cupping one, cradling it warmly, almost reverently in his palm, and ran his thumb lightly over her nipple.

Dorothea gasped, eyes opened in surprise.

“Do you like that? Does it pleasure you?” He ran his thumb across her again.

“Yes!” She brought her hand up to his cheek as he leaned in to kiss her, as an unfamiliar but very pleasant heat began to build inside of her. She wanted both of his hands on her breasts. She wanted the sensation again…and again. She wanted his mouth against hers. His body against hers. She wanted his heat, the pleasant texture of his hairy chest and oh yes, she wanted him all.

He seemed to sense what she could not ask for. With a groan he rolled her onto her back, covered her body with his. She felt herself cry out to feel him so close to her, touching her all the way down, his lips traveling over her chin and down her neck, planting urgent, hot kisses that set her skin on fire. One arm he used to prop himself up on the other was still on her breast. Massaging gently now, rubbing lightly again, and again against the sensitive tip. His lips traveled further down, to her chest and she watched in fascination as his dark, curly head drew further away, his eyes closed, his face fixed in an expression of rapt pleasure as he took her other breast into his mouth.

She threw her head back and moaned so loudly she was sure the whole house could hear her! But the twin sensations of his hot mouth and his big hand on her breasts was setting her on fire! The fire traveled, concentrating itself between her thighs, burning, burning so hotly. She could hardly breathe! She wriggled beneath him. She had not known such pleasure was even possible! This was what he had meant when he said he would be a full husband to her! This was why he was angry she had been ‘denied.’ Now she understood. Now she knew. But she could not be sorry for it. Because it meant that her first time was now, with this man she loved so deeply, and who loved her enough to patiently and sweetly create such pleasure in her body. She reached down a trembling hand and wound it in the thick, dark curls of his head. His hair was soft and thick, and her hand disappeared so pleasingly into it as she wound it around her fingers.

He moaned against her, nuzzling, kissing, licking, sucking, alternating between both of her breasts. And when his hot mouth left her breast cold and wet so that the cool air of the room kissed it, and that was pleasure too. Then he bent his head to the other and began the same treatment until Dorothea was a wash of sensation and felt as if she were about to break.

“Don’t fight it,” he whispered against her breast, and his warm breath tickled her. “Let the feeling build inside of you. Let it wash over you. I can make happen again and again for you.”

“I can’t…oh my darling…you feel…”

“Long have I wanted to make you feel this way. You have deserved it so strongly. I am honored and more pleased than you can imagine that it is I who am to be your first. Your last. Your only…lover…”

His hand was trailing down her belly. She could hardly breathe. His eyes locked with hers as his lips found her breast again, and his hand plunged…

Her eyes opened wide as his hand found the exact place that was burning so hotly! He moved against her and she moaned. His hand knew exactly where and how to touch her, and he stoked the fire into raging life until it threatened to consume her utterly.

“There is no shame between us, do you understand? I am your lover. I am your husband. You never need hold back. You never need to be strong for me. Here, everything is sacred. Every feeling…every moment of pleasure…it is honest…and perfect…and ours. Take from me, Dorothea. It is a gift from me to you. A gift that is yours for a lifetime…”

She gasped. He held her eyes, and she watched spellbound as his tongue lapped against her nipple, feeling his fingers…moving between…inside…

The world exploded.

Her body arched, and she called his name as a feeling more intense than any she had ever experienced seized her whole body and she lost control completely. She spasmed and cried out as her hips bucked against him of their own volition and she hungered, craved more and more and more from him! He was covering her instantly, making sounds of great pleasure kissing her face, whispering to her.

“God yes! That’s it! Give in to it! Oh my love! You are so beautiful…yes my love, yes! Let it claim you! Do not be afraid! Let it come! Oh dear Lord in his heaven! You are perfect…so perfect…”

It began to subside, like the tide leaving the shore, leaving her pulsing, gasping…and feeling so very at peace.

“What—what was that?”

“The pleasures of marriage,” he whispered to her, nuzzling her close and smiling into her eyes. “What all brides should experience on their wedding day, my darling. My angel…” his lips were hungry on her ear. “And what I have shamefully dreamed of bringing you so long. It is called orgasm. How did it feel to you?”

“Like nothing I’ve ever felt…or even imagined was possible.”

“There is more where that came from,” he groaned against her. “So much more.”

“Does the same happen for you?”

“Yes. Eventually,” he smiled into her eyes and smoothed her hair from her face.

“Can I make you feel thus?”

“Can you ever,” he said, kissing her.

“I want to do that,” she said, gazing into his eyes. “I want to do that for you, Will. How is it accomplished?”

“Many ways,” he said, smiling. “Traditionally, it happens when I am inside of you. Do you wish me to do that?”

“Oh yes,” she said, cupping his face and smiling into his eyes. “Oh yes I do!”

He returned her smile and kissed the tip of her nose. “This time though, because it is the first time, it will be a little…painful, I think. Are you sure you want me to?”

“Yes,” she breathed. “Yes I do want you to so badly. Please…do it now.”

“You undo me,” he cried, diving for her lips, kissing her with passion unrestrained now as his hands moved to her hips, down to her knees, pressing them gently apart as he positioned himself between them.

“I love you,” she whispered. “More than I could ever say.”

“Oh my darling,” he said, “So do I. Are you ready?”

She nodded, and he kissed her knee gently as he positioned himself and pushed himself inside of her.

She gasped again to feel something give way, and then a slight pinching pain as he penetrated her deeper, and deeper still, filling her so perfectly she cried out again.

His darling face hovered over her, an expression of total bliss in his eyes.

“Oh God Dorothea,” he said in a trembling voice, “Oh God, you are so perfect, so beautiful…”

“Does it feel as good for you as it does for me?” She asked him in wonder.

“Ohh yes…it does, My Love. My darling…”

She watched his pleasure in fascination, her hands on his face, on his chest as he moved slowly at first, rocking himself in and out and back in again. She felt pleasure build in her again…a different kind but still so powerful. His movements grew faster, and his eyes were so glazed that she could tell he was pleasing himself now.

“I can’t—Dorothea—I can’t…stop…forgive me…”

“No, there is nothing—to—forgive!”

He cried out, and his body locked against her as a wet feeling sprouted deep within her—his seed. She felt her body seize up again around him, and she cried out, watching the rapture on his face as he spurted deep inside of her.

He fell to his elbows on either side of her when he was spent, and she wrapped her arms and legs around him, burying her fingers in his damp hair.

He rolled to the side, pulling her with him so they lay cradled in each other’s arms, still joined, kissing and kissing as the frenzy died down in their limbs.

“Husband,” she whispered, “Darling, darling husband!”

The frantic passion in her had given way to a feeling of bone-deep satisfaction and repletion such as she’d never known.

“Wife,” he whispered, smiling. “God how I love the sound of that.”

“As do I.”

He pulled her close in his arms and she pillowed her head on his strong chest.

“How I love you,” she whispered. “Thank you.”

He chuckled a little. “No my love, do not thank me. My pleasure at your hands is thanks enough.”

“It was pleasurable to you?”

“More than I ever dreamed it could be!”

“But you have…done this before.”

His gaze shuddered. “I wish I had not. I wish tonight had been my first time as well.”

“It does not matter. At least someone knew what to do.”

He smiled and ran his fingers through her hair. “I daresay we would have figured it out eventually.”

“I do wish to thank you though. I was truly terrified. But you were generous enough to calm me. Lead me to it gently.”

“It had nothing to do with generosity, Dorothea. I love you. When a man loves a woman he wants to please her. Wants to care for her. You are unaccustomed to such feelings I think.”

She sighed. “Perhaps I am. This is what you were speaking of before. Injustice.”

“Yes. I burned so with jealousy, you cannot imagine. All through your marriage to my cousin. I imagined him with you this way. And I wanted…God how I wanted to be him. And then to find out, he’d had you, and never even…” he breathed in. “God even now the injustice of it makes my blood boil!”

“Do not be ill at ease any longer,” she said soothing him, running her hands over his chest. “I am glad it was with you,” she whispered.

A shuddering breath escaped him and he reached for her, kissing her so hard she could scarce draw breath.

“My love, my Dorothea…how you undo me! Oh dear God—” He kissed her again.

And Dorothea gave herself over to the pleasures of her marriage bed again.

Happily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There. I said it was short! I hope it was enjoyable!


End file.
